The best solution for all situations is to first acknowledge what's bothering the other person and then suggest a better way to deal with the issue.
One reason people throw tantrums is that they want to be heard, says Susan Orenstein, a psychologist in Cary, North Caroline, who focuses on marriage and relationships. "They grow louder and more animated as a way to get attention and show you how this issue is important to them." So let the tantrum thrower know you feel this pain. This doesn't mean you have to agree. A simple "I understand you're quite angry" will suffice. With kids, it's also important to let them know that it's OK to express emotion, but in an appropriate way. You might say to a toddler. "I understand that you're frustrated that you can't get the refrigerator open." and then explain a better way to react. "If you would ask me to please help you, I'd love to."
It takes patience no doubt but it is better than screaming back at the person who's in the midst of a meltdown.
